TOXI · THE TOXI TEN

The Two-State Condo

Your brother asked you to cater your parents’ 40th anniversary because you’re “the heart of this family.” At 7:40 p.m., he announced they were moving into the condo he bought two states closer to him, then handed you their house keys and a September 30 empty-by date. The slideshow credited him with “bringing everyone home.”

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